Thanks for sharing what you did. Family stuff is tough. My mom wasn't an easy person and it took me years to realize the approval I so craved would never come. It was a similar dynamic you describe with your in-laws. After she died, I remember discussing some of the dynamics with one of my Aunts. She said, "she was jealous of you." It startled me. Never in a million years would I have thought that, but once someone verbalized it, it made a certain amount of sense. I also came to realize my mom's way of "supporting" me was through material things and not emotional things. It's all so complicated when all you want is the simplicity of love.
Hi Sarah, I'm sorry that you are injured and dealing with the lows that go with that. I wanted to give you some hope with my story. In 2015, I ruptured my posterior tibial tendon. After lots of rehab and wearing a boot, it didn't heal. I had major surgery that was very involved and very painful. Thankfully, I recovered and was able to compete again. In 2019, I tore my hamstring and had to have it surgically repaired. Both of these injuries were quite devastating, but I am back running and at 66, feel pretty strong. Hang in there. You will be back and running well again. It just takes patience and belief that you will be back. You are strong and don't forget that! Enjoy your vacation!!
Thank you, Kelly. I have always admired you as a runner. You inspired me at my first LS50 2013 when I entered the final aid station as you were leaving, and you looked so determined and finished ahead of me. It’s important to have role models a decade older! Thanks for your perspective.
So sorry you are facing this injury and it’s not surprising you are feeling down. I’m sure those feelings will subside, but it’s a rude awakening to temporarily lose the activity that grounds you and is also such an integral part of your life. Have you thought about a yoga challenge? I always find winter is a nice time to reignite my yoga practice especially in a mountain town. Find some other fun winter activities and maybe you will come back stronger and refreshed. I would just keep the mind set that you will get better and be able to run, as dwelling on what might not happen is never productive. As for the in-laws, my good friend faces a similar situation. It could be in part that she would give anything to still have her parents alive, so for the sake of keeping the peace you might have to let that go! They are not suddenly going to change and you have people that do care.
Ah, Sarah. I've been thinking about you. As others have written, your vulnerability and candor is so appreciated. Mental health struggles are real when athletes are injured, so continue to write, vent, create, and tackle those things on the To Do list when you aren't traveling (and be sure to enjoy all of that!). This will be a blip on your radar screen a year from now, but it's so tough while you're in it. Sending hugs (and perhaps a celebratory lottery text on Saturday!) your way. XO
Thank you for the comments especially about in-laws. Not complaining, but just good to know there are others out there who wonder why they are even around. So curious to me how that relationship is not of interest to some. I often will do longer runs after those non-fulfilling emotional interactions. Good thing we have those runs! Hopefully you're feeling better!
thanks for your honest sharing such a universal experience, across the board. Feel it all, that's the best thing. and come to flow camp with us in big bend in feb! maybe just the thing to shift ways of being (and running and writing). HUGS!
Katie, thank you for reading my post and for that message. I hope you're doing well. I should reread Brief Flashings; your comeback and your messages in it speak to me!
Sending love and healing to you!! I’ve felt many of these emotions recently (including similar interactions with in-laws and more senior family members). I try to remind myself that they’re suffering their own health and aging journeys — but it’s still hard! As we all know, running injuries are the absolute WORST. The body will heal, but not nearly as soon as you’d like, and it’s a dark time while you’re in limbo and recovering. Thanks for sharing with us and know that you’re loved and supported by the run-fam.
Sorry for all your dealing with Sarah. I totally understand how this physical limitation and inability to run impacts your mental state. A runner who can’t run is a sad sack. Been there! I know you’ll find a way through…hoping it’s soon!
Been injured...orthopedically and bedeviled through the parts of spiraling down (wondering if my body packed a parachute for a soft landing post rehab or if I would burn in hot and suffer the loss of doing the things I love that involve a healthy able body ) everything on that count is sooo very relatable .... and I have been injured by a former in law with a personality that was "challenging"...who upon meeting me for the first time said with a sneer "Oh you're from California. (I was then in the US Navy working as a deep sea diver, stationed in San Diego though I grew up in Arizona, trivial I suppose), Isn't that place full of fruits, nuts, and flakes? Which are you?" GD. A history of inane bombshells were conveyed that came from a place only a professional might uncover or understand....but that kind of stress when it comes from family is no fair or fun, whether on her turf or yours...What ever, you deserve to be valued...so let's move on to that more salient and genuine point of this...SLS. Icon, erudite, PUBLISHED, champ, with a winning family; a person that still to this day is a never ending source of joy, knowledge, on multiple levels (not exclusive to running) and a person with keen interest in learning...I judge you an amazing person that shares all the best of being human, vulnerable, strong, and good humored... I'd write more but you have a fan boy in me so before I over stay my welcome I will remind you, I am not alone. People that share this POV may not follow you on Substack but you are appreciated by many that are familiar with contributions you have made past, present, and will make. And for me you were also the ONLY reason to listen to URP, which is the first contact I had with the quality of your character and inquisitive mind...which is evergreen...you are allowed to be blue too...injuries are a bummer...but you also know how to problem solve. Surround yourself with good people...and the line forms to the rear...of me...but I am obviously not first in line...your base is legion! Cheers amiga!
Thank you, that’s very generous. Good ol’ URP lasts only in memory…Eric blew it with archiving and let all that history disappear because he couldn’t deal with upgrading or migrating to a new platform or something complicated …💔
Hi Sarah, thank you for your honest post and for showing up here. I'm sorry to hear you're unable to run right now. Thinking of you and hopeful you'll be back to lacing up very, very soon.
I can relate - while training for the New York City Marathon in 2016, I went hiking in the Adirondacks and badly injured a knee. I could not run for weeks. I did not know how long the knee would take to heal.
I do agree with you that this is a good time to focus on other things BUT I would recommend getting some kind of high-aerobic exercise (safely) where you get your heart rate up. This kind of exercise can with mood regulation and increase brain function.
I’m sorry you are going through all of this, Sarah. It’s a rough place to be in. 😥 they’re expensive, but I do recommend getting the PRP injection. They seem to help speed tendon healing, so long as you also give the tendon rest for at least a month afterward, then return cautiously. I had one in my posterior tibial tendon years ago and one in my proximal hamstring tendon a couple months ago. Both seem to have helped a lot, though they’re not magic, and they won’t help with things like cartilage loss.
Love the concept of doing easy runs on different routes or unexplored terrain. The psychology of novelty in training really appeals to me. Really appreciate this post. Low points can be difficult. Your perspective is valuable!
I am so sorry you are having a shitty time. I am too. I have been low-level sick for nearly two months now. I don't run, but I count on hiking in nature to keep me sane and to keep depression at bay. I think that I feel the way I do now for a number of reasons, but the national election results hit me like a blow to the gut. Also, don't go to your in-laws home again! Ugh! Maybe, while you are healing your tendon-and after the snows-you and I can go on a long, long hike together.
Also, re family: Three days after my mother died last year-on Christmas Day, yes Christmas day-my brother, who is the only remaining member of my family-tore into me savagely and unexpectedly. I cried so hard I broke a blood vessel and had a black eye. Family can be hard.
Thanks for sharing what you did. Family stuff is tough. My mom wasn't an easy person and it took me years to realize the approval I so craved would never come. It was a similar dynamic you describe with your in-laws. After she died, I remember discussing some of the dynamics with one of my Aunts. She said, "she was jealous of you." It startled me. Never in a million years would I have thought that, but once someone verbalized it, it made a certain amount of sense. I also came to realize my mom's way of "supporting" me was through material things and not emotional things. It's all so complicated when all you want is the simplicity of love.
Thank you!
I SO RELATE.
Not knowing if or when I will ever run again while most of my life and relationships involve running is challenging.
Hang in there. What you do and who you are makes a difference in my life.
Thank you — it means a lot you read & support my newsletter! Hope we cross paths one of these years. Best wishes to you.
Hi Sarah, I'm sorry that you are injured and dealing with the lows that go with that. I wanted to give you some hope with my story. In 2015, I ruptured my posterior tibial tendon. After lots of rehab and wearing a boot, it didn't heal. I had major surgery that was very involved and very painful. Thankfully, I recovered and was able to compete again. In 2019, I tore my hamstring and had to have it surgically repaired. Both of these injuries were quite devastating, but I am back running and at 66, feel pretty strong. Hang in there. You will be back and running well again. It just takes patience and belief that you will be back. You are strong and don't forget that! Enjoy your vacation!!
Thank you, Kelly. I have always admired you as a runner. You inspired me at my first LS50 2013 when I entered the final aid station as you were leaving, and you looked so determined and finished ahead of me. It’s important to have role models a decade older! Thanks for your perspective.
So sorry you are facing this injury and it’s not surprising you are feeling down. I’m sure those feelings will subside, but it’s a rude awakening to temporarily lose the activity that grounds you and is also such an integral part of your life. Have you thought about a yoga challenge? I always find winter is a nice time to reignite my yoga practice especially in a mountain town. Find some other fun winter activities and maybe you will come back stronger and refreshed. I would just keep the mind set that you will get better and be able to run, as dwelling on what might not happen is never productive. As for the in-laws, my good friend faces a similar situation. It could be in part that she would give anything to still have her parents alive, so for the sake of keeping the peace you might have to let that go! They are not suddenly going to change and you have people that do care.
Ah, Sarah. I've been thinking about you. As others have written, your vulnerability and candor is so appreciated. Mental health struggles are real when athletes are injured, so continue to write, vent, create, and tackle those things on the To Do list when you aren't traveling (and be sure to enjoy all of that!). This will be a blip on your radar screen a year from now, but it's so tough while you're in it. Sending hugs (and perhaps a celebratory lottery text on Saturday!) your way. XO
❤️
I so appreciate your candor, Sarah, and you know that I feel this on many, many levels.
Thank you for the comments especially about in-laws. Not complaining, but just good to know there are others out there who wonder why they are even around. So curious to me how that relationship is not of interest to some. I often will do longer runs after those non-fulfilling emotional interactions. Good thing we have those runs! Hopefully you're feeling better!
thanks for your honest sharing such a universal experience, across the board. Feel it all, that's the best thing. and come to flow camp with us in big bend in feb! maybe just the thing to shift ways of being (and running and writing). HUGS!
Katie, thank you for reading my post and for that message. I hope you're doing well. I should reread Brief Flashings; your comeback and your messages in it speak to me!
Sending love and healing to you!! I’ve felt many of these emotions recently (including similar interactions with in-laws and more senior family members). I try to remind myself that they’re suffering their own health and aging journeys — but it’s still hard! As we all know, running injuries are the absolute WORST. The body will heal, but not nearly as soon as you’d like, and it’s a dark time while you’re in limbo and recovering. Thanks for sharing with us and know that you’re loved and supported by the run-fam.
Thank you Katie so much. I know you can relate. I really appreciate your support. Have a special Christmas season!
Sorry for all your dealing with Sarah. I totally understand how this physical limitation and inability to run impacts your mental state. A runner who can’t run is a sad sack. Been there! I know you’ll find a way through…hoping it’s soon!
thank you!
Been injured...orthopedically and bedeviled through the parts of spiraling down (wondering if my body packed a parachute for a soft landing post rehab or if I would burn in hot and suffer the loss of doing the things I love that involve a healthy able body ) everything on that count is sooo very relatable .... and I have been injured by a former in law with a personality that was "challenging"...who upon meeting me for the first time said with a sneer "Oh you're from California. (I was then in the US Navy working as a deep sea diver, stationed in San Diego though I grew up in Arizona, trivial I suppose), Isn't that place full of fruits, nuts, and flakes? Which are you?" GD. A history of inane bombshells were conveyed that came from a place only a professional might uncover or understand....but that kind of stress when it comes from family is no fair or fun, whether on her turf or yours...What ever, you deserve to be valued...so let's move on to that more salient and genuine point of this...SLS. Icon, erudite, PUBLISHED, champ, with a winning family; a person that still to this day is a never ending source of joy, knowledge, on multiple levels (not exclusive to running) and a person with keen interest in learning...I judge you an amazing person that shares all the best of being human, vulnerable, strong, and good humored... I'd write more but you have a fan boy in me so before I over stay my welcome I will remind you, I am not alone. People that share this POV may not follow you on Substack but you are appreciated by many that are familiar with contributions you have made past, present, and will make. And for me you were also the ONLY reason to listen to URP, which is the first contact I had with the quality of your character and inquisitive mind...which is evergreen...you are allowed to be blue too...injuries are a bummer...but you also know how to problem solve. Surround yourself with good people...and the line forms to the rear...of me...but I am obviously not first in line...your base is legion! Cheers amiga!
Thank you, that’s very generous. Good ol’ URP lasts only in memory…Eric blew it with archiving and let all that history disappear because he couldn’t deal with upgrading or migrating to a new platform or something complicated …💔
Hi Sarah, thank you for your honest post and for showing up here. I'm sorry to hear you're unable to run right now. Thinking of you and hopeful you'll be back to lacing up very, very soon.
I can relate - while training for the New York City Marathon in 2016, I went hiking in the Adirondacks and badly injured a knee. I could not run for weeks. I did not know how long the knee would take to heal.
I do agree with you that this is a good time to focus on other things BUT I would recommend getting some kind of high-aerobic exercise (safely) where you get your heart rate up. This kind of exercise can with mood regulation and increase brain function.
And thanks for sharing.
I’m sorry you are going through all of this, Sarah. It’s a rough place to be in. 😥 they’re expensive, but I do recommend getting the PRP injection. They seem to help speed tendon healing, so long as you also give the tendon rest for at least a month afterward, then return cautiously. I had one in my posterior tibial tendon years ago and one in my proximal hamstring tendon a couple months ago. Both seem to have helped a lot, though they’re not magic, and they won’t help with things like cartilage loss.
I hope you guys have a wonderful trip.
Thanks! I plan to schedule one after we return. It’s an all-day commitment with a 4.5 hour drive each way 😆
Love the concept of doing easy runs on different routes or unexplored terrain. The psychology of novelty in training really appeals to me. Really appreciate this post. Low points can be difficult. Your perspective is valuable!
Thanks so much for reading and for that feedback!
I am so sorry you are having a shitty time. I am too. I have been low-level sick for nearly two months now. I don't run, but I count on hiking in nature to keep me sane and to keep depression at bay. I think that I feel the way I do now for a number of reasons, but the national election results hit me like a blow to the gut. Also, don't go to your in-laws home again! Ugh! Maybe, while you are healing your tendon-and after the snows-you and I can go on a long, long hike together.
Also, re family: Three days after my mother died last year-on Christmas Day, yes Christmas day-my brother, who is the only remaining member of my family-tore into me savagely and unexpectedly. I cried so hard I broke a blood vessel and had a black eye. Family can be hard.
So sorry to hear all that Polly—take care.