You asked for candid comments, so here goes. As you may recall, my husband is sober. I think he’s about to hit 30 years now. It’s not an issue for him anymore, and he has never minded one bit that I drink. In fact, I think he likes to see me loosen up. I got a little worried about my drinking because, although I hardly ever get drunk - like maybe once in the past 3 years, I do have a habit of drinking wine while I make dinner. I set it aside while we eat, preferring to have water with my meal instead, but then I return to sipping it afterward while we watch tv. Usually with chocolate.😅 All in all, though, I probably consume no more than a glass or a glass and a half, a night, and that’s over the course of 3+ hours. Chris assures me that’s nothing, but it has been a daily habit for years, and that worried me because I would definitely miss it.
I had a lot of sleep trouble like you (around 2019-2020 too - could be our age, in part?), and so a little over a year ago I decided to try edible weed. I just take a tiny bite of a gummy each evening. It has helped my sleep, noticeably. So then last year while in a hard training cycle, I decided to abstain from alcohol during the week, in the hope that it would help me recover better from training. I confess, I compensated a little with larger bites of gummy, though I probably only moved from 1/10th to 1/8th. And that helped! I really didn’t miss the wine, maybe because I had a pleasant pot buzz? (I heard this sort of consumption called being “Cali sober” recently, which cracked me up!) Anyway, about to go into another hard training cycle and so will do this again.
I’m not really interested in giving up alcohol. I enjoy it, have no desire to drink too much of it, and life feels too short for deprivation just for the sake of deprivation. I worry a little that the pot gummies have just added to my substance load, but honestly my body is not complaining one bit. I sleep a lot better than I used to, and I haven’t come across any negative side effects. Now that it’s legal and available from dependable sources, it seems like a good option.
Jennifer, I really appreciate you sharing all that! You are a slow sipper lol, I don’t think I could nurse a glass of wine that long. Many have suggested gummies. For now I think I am good :-). I think it is important and helpful to have these conversations!
Congratulations on the dry January. I can say from an ER perspective alcohol can be insidious and over time can cause horrible chronic problems. I have a pretty strong family history of alcoholism mostly happy drinkers but a few kinda not so much, I got lucky by getting alcohol poisoning in my early teens and never being able to touch the stuff again. I’m again late to the game How did the
Love this Sarah! such good thoughts, appreciate your openness. I did dry January for the first time and also have lots of thoughts. Which I am currently putting down on my computer and hoping to finally hit publish on the Substack I keep threatening to start. Trying to figure out what I it is about but there are so many things.... and maybe that is ok. I keep trying to figure out what it is. Maybe that's ok too. Regarding January, I am trying to figure out how I want to proceed as well. Having an eating disorder history I am looking at things a bit differently and trying to sort that all out. Looking forward to hearing more....
Thanks Ali. It is such a complicated and individual choice, especially with an eating disorder which I assume might mean striving to be flexible and moderate and not have hard "rules" about food. My answer so far is no drinking at home, but leave the door open to it when we go out or travel. Still haven't had any alcohol since NYE special dinner Dec. 31. Good luck with your Substack, go for it!
Congrats on another Dry January! I often feel like you have to go 3-4 weeks to really understand the full sleep benefits of sobriety. My Whoop says the same...really big jumps in HRV a few weeks out. It's good to have that benchmark.
A helpful guideline for me was "don't ever drink alone (or if nobody else is drinking)". I realized a lot of my alcohol consumption was rooted in boredom, or in not wanting to acknowledge issues requiring deeper reflection. This guideline eliminated 95% of my drinking, but still left the door open for celebration, a good wine pairing at dinner with friends, or a post race beer. But I've also enjoyed NA beer a lot, and in Europe, every bar and restaurant has it. So I usually start there, and generally lose the desire to follow it with alcohol.
I also had to do the "no whiskey in the house" rule. I reeeaaaally like it, but if it's not accessible, I don't miss it. Same with weed - once I moved to a country where it was illegal, it was not even a thought.
The runners high, however, I am hopelessly addicted to, and my 3x/day coffee intake is borderline problematic. But these both seem life accretive.
Thanks for sharing that, Scott! Interesting to hear you broke up with weed. Are you ever coming back to the States? You should come check out southwest CO.
I have found I need to be more careful with wine in the last few years. I occasionally have a beer or gin and tonic but wine is my preference. One of my hobbies has been learning about and appreciating the different regions and varietals. I am 69 and know I need to keep it to 2 glasses in the evening and not have any past 6-7:00. Making sure I drink water at least equal to the wine is another key. Although we did not do a dry January, we have made sure a couple days a week are alcohol free. This seems to work for me at least for now. We’ll see what the future brings.
First of all- WOW on 170 miles!! Your commitment & strength is a true inspiration! I’m not an ultra runner, but my husband is a trail runner & I enjoy hiking in the mountains. Your candidness is also inspiring as well. Most days I enjoy a cocktail before dinner. My drink of choice is vodka with soda water. About a year ago I started having sleeping problems & discovered I needed hormone replacement therapy. If I enjoyed more than one drink, my symptoms worsened, along with the sleep issues. A year later I have found that 1 drink before dinner, early in the evening is key. Occasionally if we go out to dinner or to a party I’ll allow myself a second or third, but I usually don’t sleep well or wake feeling rested. I do think as we age& our bodies change we have to be very aware and listen to our bodies. I’d love to discuss aging & HRT more with you! This is Jodi, Carys wife.
Thank you for sharing about these lesser known races, especially Whiskey Basin! I did the 58K there last year as my first ultra, and Aravaipa never ceases to impress me with their races. In fact, all my races I’ve done so far (four, plus two more I’m signed up for this year) have been with Aravaipa. I’d love to go back someday and take on the full Prescott Circle Trail!
Regarding alcohol, I consider myself a light social drinker. When I’m by myself, I never drink. I visit my parents who live 2 hours away from me once or twice a month and would enjoy a drink or two with them when we’d go out to eat, or sometimes my dad would make me a cocktail at home, and occasionally I’ll meet a friend for a drink but I haven’t had a drink in almost 3 weeks. I enjoy going to wineries for wine tastings because the overall experience is a lot of fun, but wine usually makes me feel worse the next day than a well-made cocktail, and I have never liked beer! So moderation works just fine for me and I can easily go a few weeks without drinking, and don’t really miss it, but I also wouldn’t want to give it up completely because of certain situations that make it enjoyable.
thanks for another great read, sarah. l definitely have some of aravaipa’s races on my list. especially some of the early spring desert races. speaking of local somewhat under the radar races, i thought i’d have plenty of time to contemplate ouray. turns out it was almost full just two weeks ago! a friend who helps the RD said there’d for sure be a wait list this year, so i freaked out and took the plunge 😱 regarding alcohol, menopause has really tempered my alcohol cravings but i still let myself have a little wine while cooking dinner, or a beer, a few nights a week. beer for me has morphed into something like a negra modelo over ice in a chilled mug with lime! and i have a funny story to tell you about this miner guy i used to serve when i was a bartender at true grit in the early 90’s, on our next run! but i find the less pressure i place on myself about drinking the less i feel like drinking. i do smoke weed a few nights a week before bed and interestingly i don’t get the munchies anymore! i’ll go ahead and chalk that up to one of the many benefits of menopause (maybe?) 😉
You are brave to tackle Ouray! I hope we can do some training runs on the route together. I really feel what you say, "the less pressure I place on myself about drinking, the less I feel like drinking." thanks for that. See you soon I hope!
Thanks for the list of low key trail races. I have fond memories of running Miwok a couple times in the past. And Bears Ears has been on my list for several years. This may be the year but it’ll be 50k, unless I scale back to 30k.
I’m involved with a couple of local races here in Montana. The Don’t Fence Me In Trail Runs on 5/11/24 include a 30k and a 12k. (Pricklypearlt.org/events). I’ve often described the 30k as a “gateway drug to trail ultra running “. The 12k was, I believe, Jim Walmsley’s first trail race. The other Montana event is the HURL Elkhorn Endurance Run on 8/3 (hurlelkhorn.com). 50M/50k/13M distances included. I’ve managed an aid station on the 50 mile course for several years.
Other low key Montana events include the Old Gabe 50k/30k and Devil’s Backbone 50M. Both courses are rugged and scenic. Devil’s Backbone is epic ridge running traversing some remote areas with views that include a substantial portion of SW Montana. It’s run out & back ‘Plain’ style, I.e. no trail markings, no pacers, with aid station, drop bags, and crew access at the turn around only. Race management offers the loan of bear spray canisters during the run if that might raise your comfort level.
Thanks for these MT recs! I live just north of the MT/ID border in Canada, so these are more accessible to me. Don't Fence Me In looks like such a fun time!
Thank you for sharing your experience with alcohol. My partner, a former marathoner and Ironman triathlete, drank quite a bit in his offseason and during his younger years. He now has early onset Alzheimer’s (just turned 60) and regrets his past drinking as he believes it is a contributing factor to his cognitive decline. (He has no family history of dementia however both sides of his family drank a lot.) Coming from a family of teetotalers, I advocate moderation in alcohol however I choose not to drink to support his choice of abstinence. Best wishes as you navigate your journey.
Thank you and I feel for you and your partner with that diagnosis. I read a really helpful book when my mom was declining with dementia, called "Keep Sharp: Build a Better Brain at Any Age" for people with an early diagnosis of any form of dementia, and for caregivers of them, and for anyone who wants to prevent or slow cognitive decline. It's by Sanjay Gupta (the CNN medical correspondent) and is like a lay person's guide to neuroscience. I recommend it. Take care!
Unfortunately, this platform doesn’t allow photos in the comments. I will text it to you. This is Clare right? I didn’t recognize the name Clarea until I realized that must be your last initial tacked on. :-)
Being sober now is so easy! I celebrated 2 years in December. Now there are so many NA options! I like Gruvi prosecco for fun occasions and Athletic Brewing Upside Dawn Golden. And Fever Tree Ginger beer with a twist of lime! Bonus, low calories and so yummy!!
Thank you for sharing about the Phillips’ ranching family. It is so important to know how we can protect and support our small farmers & ranchers. My husband works in the agricultural industry so this type of story is one I’ve heard a lot from him over the years.
As regards to alcohol use, I appreciate your honesty and how candidly you’ve shared in your own journey. I know it isn’t easy. My husband decided almost 4 years ago to quit drinking. Alcohol was not a problem for me, but I did partake alongside him and when he decided to quit, my way of supporting him was to quit for myself. He has a family history of alcoholism, as well. I am grateful for every day that he is sober. Overall not drinking has helped us in so many ways, similar to what you have mentioned already with your own experience.
It's good to see more and more conversations about alcohol. Moving in with my wife led to similar scenarios - sometime fun to drink with! But it was obviously unsustainable. The relationship is ongoing and ever-changing!
Thank you Sarah for sharing so much here. My heart is sad for the ranchers and I appreciate you giving us actions we can take to support them. As far as the drinking...I have a family history of alcoholism. I'm grateful after some not so pleasant moments with drinking I stopped in my early 30s and never looked back. I'm very grateful as I know this isn't easy for everyone. Take good care.
You asked for candid comments, so here goes. As you may recall, my husband is sober. I think he’s about to hit 30 years now. It’s not an issue for him anymore, and he has never minded one bit that I drink. In fact, I think he likes to see me loosen up. I got a little worried about my drinking because, although I hardly ever get drunk - like maybe once in the past 3 years, I do have a habit of drinking wine while I make dinner. I set it aside while we eat, preferring to have water with my meal instead, but then I return to sipping it afterward while we watch tv. Usually with chocolate.😅 All in all, though, I probably consume no more than a glass or a glass and a half, a night, and that’s over the course of 3+ hours. Chris assures me that’s nothing, but it has been a daily habit for years, and that worried me because I would definitely miss it.
I had a lot of sleep trouble like you (around 2019-2020 too - could be our age, in part?), and so a little over a year ago I decided to try edible weed. I just take a tiny bite of a gummy each evening. It has helped my sleep, noticeably. So then last year while in a hard training cycle, I decided to abstain from alcohol during the week, in the hope that it would help me recover better from training. I confess, I compensated a little with larger bites of gummy, though I probably only moved from 1/10th to 1/8th. And that helped! I really didn’t miss the wine, maybe because I had a pleasant pot buzz? (I heard this sort of consumption called being “Cali sober” recently, which cracked me up!) Anyway, about to go into another hard training cycle and so will do this again.
I’m not really interested in giving up alcohol. I enjoy it, have no desire to drink too much of it, and life feels too short for deprivation just for the sake of deprivation. I worry a little that the pot gummies have just added to my substance load, but honestly my body is not complaining one bit. I sleep a lot better than I used to, and I haven’t come across any negative side effects. Now that it’s legal and available from dependable sources, it seems like a good option.
Jennifer, I really appreciate you sharing all that! You are a slow sipper lol, I don’t think I could nurse a glass of wine that long. Many have suggested gummies. For now I think I am good :-). I think it is important and helpful to have these conversations!
Congratulations on the dry January. I can say from an ER perspective alcohol can be insidious and over time can cause horrible chronic problems. I have a pretty strong family history of alcoholism mostly happy drinkers but a few kinda not so much, I got lucky by getting alcohol poisoning in my early teens and never being able to touch the stuff again. I’m again late to the game How did the
Love this Sarah! such good thoughts, appreciate your openness. I did dry January for the first time and also have lots of thoughts. Which I am currently putting down on my computer and hoping to finally hit publish on the Substack I keep threatening to start. Trying to figure out what I it is about but there are so many things.... and maybe that is ok. I keep trying to figure out what it is. Maybe that's ok too. Regarding January, I am trying to figure out how I want to proceed as well. Having an eating disorder history I am looking at things a bit differently and trying to sort that all out. Looking forward to hearing more....
Thanks Ali. It is such a complicated and individual choice, especially with an eating disorder which I assume might mean striving to be flexible and moderate and not have hard "rules" about food. My answer so far is no drinking at home, but leave the door open to it when we go out or travel. Still haven't had any alcohol since NYE special dinner Dec. 31. Good luck with your Substack, go for it!
Congrats on another Dry January! I often feel like you have to go 3-4 weeks to really understand the full sleep benefits of sobriety. My Whoop says the same...really big jumps in HRV a few weeks out. It's good to have that benchmark.
A helpful guideline for me was "don't ever drink alone (or if nobody else is drinking)". I realized a lot of my alcohol consumption was rooted in boredom, or in not wanting to acknowledge issues requiring deeper reflection. This guideline eliminated 95% of my drinking, but still left the door open for celebration, a good wine pairing at dinner with friends, or a post race beer. But I've also enjoyed NA beer a lot, and in Europe, every bar and restaurant has it. So I usually start there, and generally lose the desire to follow it with alcohol.
I also had to do the "no whiskey in the house" rule. I reeeaaaally like it, but if it's not accessible, I don't miss it. Same with weed - once I moved to a country where it was illegal, it was not even a thought.
The runners high, however, I am hopelessly addicted to, and my 3x/day coffee intake is borderline problematic. But these both seem life accretive.
Thanks for sharing that, Scott! Interesting to hear you broke up with weed. Are you ever coming back to the States? You should come check out southwest CO.
We will come back to the States eventually, but currently the family is enjoying Vienna a lot. CO, CA, and NYC are on the target list. 👍
I have found I need to be more careful with wine in the last few years. I occasionally have a beer or gin and tonic but wine is my preference. One of my hobbies has been learning about and appreciating the different regions and varietals. I am 69 and know I need to keep it to 2 glasses in the evening and not have any past 6-7:00. Making sure I drink water at least equal to the wine is another key. Although we did not do a dry January, we have made sure a couple days a week are alcohol free. This seems to work for me at least for now. We’ll see what the future brings.
First of all- WOW on 170 miles!! Your commitment & strength is a true inspiration! I’m not an ultra runner, but my husband is a trail runner & I enjoy hiking in the mountains. Your candidness is also inspiring as well. Most days I enjoy a cocktail before dinner. My drink of choice is vodka with soda water. About a year ago I started having sleeping problems & discovered I needed hormone replacement therapy. If I enjoyed more than one drink, my symptoms worsened, along with the sleep issues. A year later I have found that 1 drink before dinner, early in the evening is key. Occasionally if we go out to dinner or to a party I’ll allow myself a second or third, but I usually don’t sleep well or wake feeling rested. I do think as we age& our bodies change we have to be very aware and listen to our bodies. I’d love to discuss aging & HRT more with you! This is Jodi, Carys wife.
Thank you for sharing about these lesser known races, especially Whiskey Basin! I did the 58K there last year as my first ultra, and Aravaipa never ceases to impress me with their races. In fact, all my races I’ve done so far (four, plus two more I’m signed up for this year) have been with Aravaipa. I’d love to go back someday and take on the full Prescott Circle Trail!
Regarding alcohol, I consider myself a light social drinker. When I’m by myself, I never drink. I visit my parents who live 2 hours away from me once or twice a month and would enjoy a drink or two with them when we’d go out to eat, or sometimes my dad would make me a cocktail at home, and occasionally I’ll meet a friend for a drink but I haven’t had a drink in almost 3 weeks. I enjoy going to wineries for wine tastings because the overall experience is a lot of fun, but wine usually makes me feel worse the next day than a well-made cocktail, and I have never liked beer! So moderation works just fine for me and I can easily go a few weeks without drinking, and don’t really miss it, but I also wouldn’t want to give it up completely because of certain situations that make it enjoyable.
Right on!
thanks for another great read, sarah. l definitely have some of aravaipa’s races on my list. especially some of the early spring desert races. speaking of local somewhat under the radar races, i thought i’d have plenty of time to contemplate ouray. turns out it was almost full just two weeks ago! a friend who helps the RD said there’d for sure be a wait list this year, so i freaked out and took the plunge 😱 regarding alcohol, menopause has really tempered my alcohol cravings but i still let myself have a little wine while cooking dinner, or a beer, a few nights a week. beer for me has morphed into something like a negra modelo over ice in a chilled mug with lime! and i have a funny story to tell you about this miner guy i used to serve when i was a bartender at true grit in the early 90’s, on our next run! but i find the less pressure i place on myself about drinking the less i feel like drinking. i do smoke weed a few nights a week before bed and interestingly i don’t get the munchies anymore! i’ll go ahead and chalk that up to one of the many benefits of menopause (maybe?) 😉
You are brave to tackle Ouray! I hope we can do some training runs on the route together. I really feel what you say, "the less pressure I place on myself about drinking, the less I feel like drinking." thanks for that. See you soon I hope!
Thanks for the list of low key trail races. I have fond memories of running Miwok a couple times in the past. And Bears Ears has been on my list for several years. This may be the year but it’ll be 50k, unless I scale back to 30k.
I’m involved with a couple of local races here in Montana. The Don’t Fence Me In Trail Runs on 5/11/24 include a 30k and a 12k. (Pricklypearlt.org/events). I’ve often described the 30k as a “gateway drug to trail ultra running “. The 12k was, I believe, Jim Walmsley’s first trail race. The other Montana event is the HURL Elkhorn Endurance Run on 8/3 (hurlelkhorn.com). 50M/50k/13M distances included. I’ve managed an aid station on the 50 mile course for several years.
Other low key Montana events include the Old Gabe 50k/30k and Devil’s Backbone 50M. Both courses are rugged and scenic. Devil’s Backbone is epic ridge running traversing some remote areas with views that include a substantial portion of SW Montana. It’s run out & back ‘Plain’ style, I.e. no trail markings, no pacers, with aid station, drop bags, and crew access at the turn around only. Race management offers the loan of bear spray canisters during the run if that might raise your comfort level.
Thanks for these MT recs! I live just north of the MT/ID border in Canada, so these are more accessible to me. Don't Fence Me In looks like such a fun time!
Thanks so much for sharing the info on those races!
Thank you for that recommendation. I appreciate it.
Thank you for sharing your experience with alcohol. My partner, a former marathoner and Ironman triathlete, drank quite a bit in his offseason and during his younger years. He now has early onset Alzheimer’s (just turned 60) and regrets his past drinking as he believes it is a contributing factor to his cognitive decline. (He has no family history of dementia however both sides of his family drank a lot.) Coming from a family of teetotalers, I advocate moderation in alcohol however I choose not to drink to support his choice of abstinence. Best wishes as you navigate your journey.
Thank you and I feel for you and your partner with that diagnosis. I read a really helpful book when my mom was declining with dementia, called "Keep Sharp: Build a Better Brain at Any Age" for people with an early diagnosis of any form of dementia, and for caregivers of them, and for anyone who wants to prevent or slow cognitive decline. It's by Sanjay Gupta (the CNN medical correspondent) and is like a lay person's guide to neuroscience. I recommend it. Take care!
I want a close up picture of the buckle! What a lovely gift 😍. Rob will be sad about Zapata...he loved his trip there
Unfortunately, this platform doesn’t allow photos in the comments. I will text it to you. This is Clare right? I didn’t recognize the name Clarea until I realized that must be your last initial tacked on. :-)
Yes! It’s clare 😃
Haha I’ll text you
Being sober now is so easy! I celebrated 2 years in December. Now there are so many NA options! I like Gruvi prosecco for fun occasions and Athletic Brewing Upside Dawn Golden. And Fever Tree Ginger beer with a twist of lime! Bonus, low calories and so yummy!!
Thank you for sharing about the Phillips’ ranching family. It is so important to know how we can protect and support our small farmers & ranchers. My husband works in the agricultural industry so this type of story is one I’ve heard a lot from him over the years.
As regards to alcohol use, I appreciate your honesty and how candidly you’ve shared in your own journey. I know it isn’t easy. My husband decided almost 4 years ago to quit drinking. Alcohol was not a problem for me, but I did partake alongside him and when he decided to quit, my way of supporting him was to quit for myself. He has a family history of alcoholism, as well. I am grateful for every day that he is sober. Overall not drinking has helped us in so many ways, similar to what you have mentioned already with your own experience.
It's good to see more and more conversations about alcohol. Moving in with my wife led to similar scenarios - sometime fun to drink with! But it was obviously unsustainable. The relationship is ongoing and ever-changing!
Thank you Sarah for sharing so much here. My heart is sad for the ranchers and I appreciate you giving us actions we can take to support them. As far as the drinking...I have a family history of alcoholism. I'm grateful after some not so pleasant moments with drinking I stopped in my early 30s and never looked back. I'm very grateful as I know this isn't easy for everyone. Take good care.