2nd master's finisher overall and first female master's finisher! Eleven years older than anyone who finished ahead of you! At an event that clearly self-screens for strong ability. I'd say that's an impressive performance. 62 yr old sending cheers from Maine.
Hey Elizabeth, for the sake of hasty comparison I was applying a category (master's) that's more common to track and road racing, not actually used in this race. And I screwed up! I always thought the masters category was 40 and up, but (I just learned) it's 35 and up. Anyway, without going too far into the weeds, the point's the same ❤ Through the lens of age-graded performance, Sarah is elite even on what she considers a bad day. Yes, she is a hero!
Boy Sarah, I get it! I’m sorry you didn’t reach your stretch goal, but cut yourself some slack - those conditions were insane! This is the hard part about going back to events where we had success as younger athletes - if we’re just focused on numbers, like # of laps or finishing time, it’s easy to get down on ourselves and think we’re degrading. But look at it this way: you matched what you were able to do as a younger athlete and in worse conditions! That’s cause for some amount of joy. I suspect what’s really getting to you is your loss of interest and motivation during the event. That whole “what’s the point?” feeling. We can’t control when that feeling happens; all we can control is our response. And you responded by taking care of your need for food and then gutting it out and finishing what you started. Sounds pretty much like a win to me.
Thanks Jen, you're right and I'll try. Except it was less about the "what's the point?" and more the frustration and lower-body pain of not being able to do what I wanted to do on the runnable portions. It also hit me today after I posted this, this is the third year in a row where I've had an Eyeore-like report from my first ultra of the year. Training and racing probably has something to do with it too. See you soon!
Sarah, It’s a beautiful thing that you continue to put yourself out there and share those experiences with us. Your story made me think of the Mary Oliver poem “The summers day”:
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean —
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down —
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
Great work, even if it did not work out the way you planned for. In the end we runners are still loving the way to the event (hopefully) and that is something nobody can take from you.
I read through all the comments here -- so many wise words and friends who have your back! Your report on your RUFA experience is so authentic and real, which makes sense as you are documenting in your newsletter the ups and downs of growing older while taking on huge mental and physical challenges in trail ultrarunning. Good on you for facing the tough lessons and looking for other opportunities to stoke your fire! We are all different -- but I do recall someone telling me that the post-50 slowdown can catch us by surprise because the effort in training feels the same, and even the splits are the same as past years --- but some things start to give out (like the psychological comfort level of bombing downhill, or how our knees feel on those downhills). Like so many people here, I'm with you on this journey, and appreciate your vulnerability and honesty. Chasing our past selves in search of PRs or age group records can be fun (as well as deflating), but so can running brand new races with no pressure, just gratitude to be healthy and able to run. I'm planning to do a little of both this year, and I look forward to hearing about your next adventure. Rest well. XO
It was interesting reading your report as a runner who strives for average and who would love to be able to complete five winter laps of Grandeur in 12 hours. But I get it, we all have expectations for ourselves, and we all carry some imposter syndrome no matter where our goals land. I especially appreciated your observations about approaching things with a beginner’s mindset.
Thanks for reading, Jill. I know, what I did is a strong accomplishment. As you said, it's the expectation I set for myself and trained for. If I were more "chill" about it, I'd be more OK with it!
I’m grateful there were no bats or alleged knee-whacking with your recommitment! 🤣
All joking aside, it’s funny what we find in the sometimes shallow and sometimes deep well of our brains to motivate us. I’m so so happy you kept moving and finished with a proud 5 laps. You’re awesome! Glad as always to have seen you!
Whoa there Sara. What was the temperature of this event? I didn’t see it in the text. Could be an oversight on my part. You know where I’m going with this. You are living in cold and altitude in Telluride so you’re acclimated but trust me it’s a wildcard for us after 50 to depend on our ability to do physical fitness events like we used to and thermoregulate and/or control the way we function in that regard. Hope I’m not completely making an ass of myself because you know I don’t mean to come across as “man splaning”. Plus you’re an authority and ex coach. But I grieve my loss of ability to gut out the cold like I use to. Men have a lot of blind spots about hormones but aging tends to level the playing field. So we don’t get a chance to pretend we are British and tough it out with a stiff upper lip. But you are still connecting the dots with your mental inner dialogue to recalibrate. Pretty amazing results and bank on this, your resilience is still epic. Congratulations.
I found your newsletter a few months ago (possibly via Anne Helen Petersen). Though I'm in no way an ultra, regular, half, or even less marathoner, I find it very easy and helpful to make small leaps to bring your stories, writing, and insights to bear in my own life. For instance:
"I’m struggling with malaise, a feeling of not-good-enough. This is entirely in my head, no one’s fault but my own, and I know I’ll get over it. I’m sharing it here because I know other athletes, especially us aging ones, experience it."
Today, I simply replaced the word " athletes " with "founders", which centers me on my challenges and what I need to do to keep moving.
I sent a donation as thanks, and am grateful for your words.
Whoa, this was brutally honest as are all of your articles but I’ve never detected this level of self doubt in previous posts. Being 13 years older than you I too can relate to how age affects our mobility & stamina . Good on ya Sarah for thinking through this and deciding to start with a clean slate on future races!!
14,000 feet! 14,00 feet! Wow! How can I say how impressive that is to me without denigrating your disappointment? Sounds like you did stretch-but you were hoping to do better. I look forward to joining your next online chat for the first time. I am massively derailed from my Mt Shasta training with Covid right now. Best, Polly
As someone who struggles on the climbs but excels at the downs, the admiration (jealousy?) goes both ways. Is anyone good at both? Nice work getting out there despite the struggle. RUFA has been on my list for a while - thanks for another nudge towards actually doing it.
You definitely should do it! There are several other locations besides this one at Grandeur Peak (which is the original one, started by Jared Campbell). https://upforairseries.org/
What an honest and transparent recap. Thank you! Always appreciate how you put words to the inner dialogue during your races. Your authenticity is actually quite inspiring. Way to still be out there, Sarah!
2nd master's finisher overall and first female master's finisher! Eleven years older than anyone who finished ahead of you! At an event that clearly self-screens for strong ability. I'd say that's an impressive performance. 62 yr old sending cheers from Maine.
Wait- I am not a competitive athlete, but doesn't "first female master's finisher" mean that Sarah won the event in her category? My hero!
Hey Elizabeth, for the sake of hasty comparison I was applying a category (master's) that's more common to track and road racing, not actually used in this race. And I screwed up! I always thought the masters category was 40 and up, but (I just learned) it's 35 and up. Anyway, without going too far into the weeds, the point's the same ❤ Through the lens of age-graded performance, Sarah is elite even on what she considers a bad day. Yes, she is a hero!
Thank you :-)
haha thanks for reading and for seeing the glass half full :-)
Boy Sarah, I get it! I’m sorry you didn’t reach your stretch goal, but cut yourself some slack - those conditions were insane! This is the hard part about going back to events where we had success as younger athletes - if we’re just focused on numbers, like # of laps or finishing time, it’s easy to get down on ourselves and think we’re degrading. But look at it this way: you matched what you were able to do as a younger athlete and in worse conditions! That’s cause for some amount of joy. I suspect what’s really getting to you is your loss of interest and motivation during the event. That whole “what’s the point?” feeling. We can’t control when that feeling happens; all we can control is our response. And you responded by taking care of your need for food and then gutting it out and finishing what you started. Sounds pretty much like a win to me.
Thanks Jen, you're right and I'll try. Except it was less about the "what's the point?" and more the frustration and lower-body pain of not being able to do what I wanted to do on the runnable portions. It also hit me today after I posted this, this is the third year in a row where I've had an Eyeore-like report from my first ultra of the year. Training and racing probably has something to do with it too. See you soon!
Sarah, It’s a beautiful thing that you continue to put yourself out there and share those experiences with us. Your story made me think of the Mary Oliver poem “The summers day”:
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean —
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down —
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
+ Mary Oliver
Thank you Janet, I will always love that poem.
I agree with Gretchen you are amazing!!!!! Looks like the Dyatlov pass to me. Any yetis?
Great work, even if it did not work out the way you planned for. In the end we runners are still loving the way to the event (hopefully) and that is something nobody can take from you.
True! thanks for reading
Sarah,
I read through all the comments here -- so many wise words and friends who have your back! Your report on your RUFA experience is so authentic and real, which makes sense as you are documenting in your newsletter the ups and downs of growing older while taking on huge mental and physical challenges in trail ultrarunning. Good on you for facing the tough lessons and looking for other opportunities to stoke your fire! We are all different -- but I do recall someone telling me that the post-50 slowdown can catch us by surprise because the effort in training feels the same, and even the splits are the same as past years --- but some things start to give out (like the psychological comfort level of bombing downhill, or how our knees feel on those downhills). Like so many people here, I'm with you on this journey, and appreciate your vulnerability and honesty. Chasing our past selves in search of PRs or age group records can be fun (as well as deflating), but so can running brand new races with no pressure, just gratitude to be healthy and able to run. I'm planning to do a little of both this year, and I look forward to hearing about your next adventure. Rest well. XO
You're my run yoda, Sophie! Thank you.
It was interesting reading your report as a runner who strives for average and who would love to be able to complete five winter laps of Grandeur in 12 hours. But I get it, we all have expectations for ourselves, and we all carry some imposter syndrome no matter where our goals land. I especially appreciated your observations about approaching things with a beginner’s mindset.
Thanks for reading, Jill. I know, what I did is a strong accomplishment. As you said, it's the expectation I set for myself and trained for. If I were more "chill" about it, I'd be more OK with it!
I’m grateful there were no bats or alleged knee-whacking with your recommitment! 🤣
All joking aside, it’s funny what we find in the sometimes shallow and sometimes deep well of our brains to motivate us. I’m so so happy you kept moving and finished with a proud 5 laps. You’re awesome! Glad as always to have seen you!
Thank you Katie for being there—and for reading this and subscribing! I’ll always be impressed by your 24hr performance in 2020.
Whoa there Sara. What was the temperature of this event? I didn’t see it in the text. Could be an oversight on my part. You know where I’m going with this. You are living in cold and altitude in Telluride so you’re acclimated but trust me it’s a wildcard for us after 50 to depend on our ability to do physical fitness events like we used to and thermoregulate and/or control the way we function in that regard. Hope I’m not completely making an ass of myself because you know I don’t mean to come across as “man splaning”. Plus you’re an authority and ex coach. But I grieve my loss of ability to gut out the cold like I use to. Men have a lot of blind spots about hormones but aging tends to level the playing field. So we don’t get a chance to pretend we are British and tough it out with a stiff upper lip. But you are still connecting the dots with your mental inner dialogue to recalibrate. Pretty amazing results and bank on this, your resilience is still epic. Congratulations.
Thanks for your feedback. Temps were fine, in the low 20s in the morning and at the summit, reaching the 40s at the base by midday.
I found your newsletter a few months ago (possibly via Anne Helen Petersen). Though I'm in no way an ultra, regular, half, or even less marathoner, I find it very easy and helpful to make small leaps to bring your stories, writing, and insights to bear in my own life. For instance:
"I’m struggling with malaise, a feeling of not-good-enough. This is entirely in my head, no one’s fault but my own, and I know I’ll get over it. I’m sharing it here because I know other athletes, especially us aging ones, experience it."
Today, I simply replaced the word " athletes " with "founders", which centers me on my challenges and what I need to do to keep moving.
I sent a donation as thanks, and am grateful for your words.
Your comment means a lot to me. Thank you so much for reading and thanks especially for the RUFA donation!
Whoa, this was brutally honest as are all of your articles but I’ve never detected this level of self doubt in previous posts. Being 13 years older than you I too can relate to how age affects our mobility & stamina . Good on ya Sarah for thinking through this and deciding to start with a clean slate on future races!!
14,000 feet! 14,00 feet! Wow! How can I say how impressive that is to me without denigrating your disappointment? Sounds like you did stretch-but you were hoping to do better. I look forward to joining your next online chat for the first time. I am massively derailed from my Mt Shasta training with Covid right now. Best, Polly
Thank you, Polly. I hope you recover soon.
As someone who struggles on the climbs but excels at the downs, the admiration (jealousy?) goes both ways. Is anyone good at both? Nice work getting out there despite the struggle. RUFA has been on my list for a while - thanks for another nudge towards actually doing it.
You definitely should do it! There are several other locations besides this one at Grandeur Peak (which is the original one, started by Jared Campbell). https://upforairseries.org/
Thanks for reading!
What an honest and transparent recap. Thank you! Always appreciate how you put words to the inner dialogue during your races. Your authenticity is actually quite inspiring. Way to still be out there, Sarah!
Thanks for reading, Leslie! Hope to see you again soon.
Great piece, Sarah. Way to make five! You made me feel like I was there with you.
Thanks so much, Cam.