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Cam Torrens's avatar

I'm in the process of writing my 6th book (fiction--not memoir, so not facing your challenges) but am reminded by you and Semi-Rad that early drafts are like training runs--no matter how miserable they turn out, if you don't hammer through them, your odds of DNFing on race soar.. Good words, as always, Sarah!

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Sarah Lavender Smith's avatar

Thank you! I have to check out your books :-)

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Sarah Lavender Smith's avatar

Wow, your series looks impressive and has great reviews!

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Josh Jackson's avatar

Congrats on landing the editor/publisher! What a big step in the long, beautiful slog of writing a book. Also, this line from Mary - "Nobody I know who’s written a great one describes it as anything less than a major-league shit-eating contest." Perfect! Thanks for sharing.

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Emily Halnon's avatar

Writing a book is definitely an ultra experience! An extra-long kind of ultra, full of self-doubt and overwhelm (at least in my limited experience). I think a lot of the same things that get us through our longest runs can help us through our biggest creative projects. So, I have no doubt you can write this memoir. And I'm glad you're not abdicating. Rooting for you through the next miles! And excited to hear more about it - and to read it!

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Sarah Lavender Smith's avatar

Thank you… you are my Hardrock + memoir role model! I confess I haven’t yet read your To The Gorge (but I promise I will) because I don’t at the moment want to read any memoir too similar in terms of an endurance trek, and also, stories of positive mothers can be painful since my mother was not; we had a complicated/neglectful relationship but ultimately made peace. Thank you for your encouragement & for reading my newsletter!

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Emily Halnon's avatar

I'm always happy to chat Hardrock and memoirs! And always excited to connect with and root for other women in both of those worlds. I appreciate you have To the Gorge on your reading list and totally and completely get why you haven't picked it up yet. (No pressure, ever!) I know not every book is a match for another person's life experiences and the moment they're living through. It took me forever to be able to touch a cancer/grief/loss story after my mom passed away. I'm sorry you carry your own pain from your relationship with your mom. And I also get not wanting to read stories too similar to yours while you're in the thick of writing. When I was working on my book, I got very into romance and thrillers because there were many stretches when I couldn't read memoirs (which I normally love, of course!).

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Sarah Lavender Smith's avatar

Thank you so much for all of that and for understanding.

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Blue's avatar

Great post and awesome elk wow. Our History makes us who we are I appreciate your courage on the memoir. I’m quite sure I could not do that. I too had a complex childhood and was pretty estranged from family for most of my late teens and early 20s. Then at various times my parents got sick, and as they got better so did our relationships. The old feelings are still there and perhaps some trust is missing but I have a much improved relationship with them now and I’m happy for that.!

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Ali Lopez's avatar

Bravo on getting the editor and also for not abandoning your memoir project. I am also in the process of wanting to write the thing but also struggling with as you said, " I daily question whether my story matters, whether it’s boring or relevant to anyone, and whether I’m engaged in a pointless self-indulgent act involving massive and unnecessary over-sharing." And I am nowhere near the caliber of runner/writer that you are :) The ultra reference really rings true though.

If you are trying to stay away from memoir but want something lighter to read I just finished The Griffin Sisters Greatest Hits by Jennifer Weiner and I really enjoyed it. Also, not sure how you feel about Chelsea Handler but I really liked her memoir, I'll Have What She's Having. And I am loving Rachel Martin's Wild Card podcast!

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Sarah Lavender Smith's avatar

Thank you, Ali—good recs!

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Jude Gamel's avatar

I too am ‘memorizing’ Edna St. Vincent Millay’s ‘Recuerdo.’ It is indeed a challenge. Oh for my younger brain! I find reading memoirs fascinating and challenging. I’m waiting for my copy of Suleika Jaouad’s ‘The Book of Alchemy.’ Her memoir ‘Between Two Kingdoms’ is terrific.

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Sarah Lavender Smith's avatar

Yes I loved Between Two Kingdoms :-)

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Rosalie Chan's avatar

Congrats on landing an editor/publisher and I look forward to reading your memoir! By the way, I'd also recommend reading the book What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

Book by Haruki Murakami. It's also about running and the writing process.

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Sarah Lavender Smith's avatar

Thank you!

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Jenna Vandenberg's avatar

Congratulations on scoring an editor! That's huge :)

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Amber Fitzsimmons's avatar

Love reading your substack. Can’t wait for the memoir!

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Sarah Lavender Smith's avatar

Thanks, that means a lot!

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Bob McCready's avatar

I was so happy to read this Sarah and as someone who wound up in a spouse's memoir, I'd be happy to talk to your husband about how I felt about it and dealt with it :).

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Sarah Lavender Smith's avatar

Bob, I liked reading about you in “Why Bother?”! Nothing embarrassing that I recall. Thanks for the offer though :-)

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Denzil Jennings's avatar

The Chase was so surprisingly good. I especially enjoyed the deeper look into Versteeg’s life….and what he considers a long training run. I have no desire to run 250 miles, but the 200 mile scene at least feels like it’s a bunch of weirdos running in the woods like the ultra days of old. I’m just not drawn to how performance focused ultra running has become.

Enough by Melissa Arnot was excellent. I know you’re avoiding personal memoirs while you’re writing. She also for sure had to wrestle with what you’re struggling by with. It’s a very vulnerable story.

Where the Axe is Buried by Ray Nayler is a phenomenal work of dystopian sci fi where authoritarian government, AI, and people’s brains being hacked and manipulated are all central themes. I couldn’t put it down.

Currently reading Thirty Below by Cassidy Randle, which is good, but written in a more journalistic style.

I’m also working through The Book of Alchemy at your recommendation. Treating it like a near daily writing assignment.

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Sarah Lavender Smith's avatar

I just started Thirty Below too! The author is speaking locally in a couple of weeks. I’ll check out Enough, thanks.

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Emily Halnon's avatar

I would also recommend adding Enough to your reading list (it might even be a good comp for your book). It shares some of the same threads you're writing into (tumultuous upbringing driving a need to prove oneself - and turning to extreme endurance events on that path). And this is all good encouragement to add both Thirty Below and The Book of Alchemy from my "to read" to "reading" pile!

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Sophie Speidel's avatar

I also enjoyed Buzz's interview with Anton. I met Anton back in 2013 when our Charlottesville Area Trail Runners hosted a mini trail running film festival and his short film, "In the High Country" produced by Joel Wolpert, was the featured film. Andy Jones-Wilkins was living in our town at the time, and he organized the screening and the pre--screening group run with Anton. It was a lot of fun to meet him at that time of his career -- he was very humble and easy to talk to. And I love the quote you shared from his blog, Sarah!

Rusty and I are hooked back on the latest seasons of the Handmaids Tale and The Last Of Us, both grim (and not-so-unbelievable) dystopian dramas. Perhaps I can stomach them because I'm off FB, barely skim the NYT and don't read the news, except for Heather Cox Richardson's daily newsletter? As for your memoir journey Sarah, thanks for sharing your struggles as a writer for this fan of memoir and adventure. I can't wait to read it! Have a fantastic run with the awesome Gnar Runners at Quad Rock 50. XO

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Sarah Lavender Smith's avatar

Sophie, I think you'd enjoy The Chase doc about Cocodona too ... AJW is in prime form with his commentary during it.

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Sophie Speidel's avatar

I've already seen it! I loved it so much I'm in the middle of watching it again :-) I have no desire to run 250 miles but it's fascinating adventure to watch others suffer through.

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Buzz Burrell's avatar

Writing a book is definitely a metaphorical ultra! In the trans-con category IMO - so hard. I'm disparaging of some memoirs because the author isn't old enough to have anything meaningful to say - but you're over 50 so good to go! One foot at a time.

And glad you enjoyed the Anton episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-buzz/id1804209940. He's known as a style icon while his friends know he's always been one of the most thoughtful and honest people they've ever met.

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Sarah Lavender Smith's avatar

Thank you, Buzz, I appreciate that! And yes, I'll follow Anton from now on thanks to your interview. (Still laughing, however, at my misunderstanding of the "LA Freeway" route—Longs-Arapahoe, not a real freeway in SoCal.)

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