25 Comments
Jun 5Liked by Sarah Lavender Smith

This article really resonated with me - as a mid-20s woman who loves solo trail runs and has solo thru-hiked 1000+ miles, I always struggle to find a good balance between acknowledging risks / fears versus pushing myself to get out of my comfort zone, embrace the fear, and grow as a person.

On my first solo backpacking trip in Lassen National Park, I had a bear sneak up on me while eating dinner at a remote backcountry site. I scared him away by yelling, but it scared me sh*tless! That experience did not hold me back from backpacking in California and Colorado, but certainly made me more aware of the animals that we coexist with when we go out into the mountains, and taught me that I probably need to be prepared to the worst when I choose to go it alone in the outdoors.

Ultimately I have embraced what you echoed in this article - yes, you need to acknowledge the inherent risks of going it alone in the mountains, and you owe it to yourself to be prepared, but I don't think you can let the fear entirely rule you. I thru-hiked the Colorado Trail this summer and had to hitchhike a few times; my friends, my parents, and my partner were TERRIFIED that I was going to get kidnapped. I could have let this fear simply stop me from doing the trail all together, but I chose to face this fear in a prepared way. I listened to my gut and was not afraid to say no if someone creepy offered my a ride. I kept my Garmin GPS in hand at all times when in someone's car (as well as my knife). I communicated very clearly what my intended schedule was and when I should be expected to check in. Heck, I even armed my parents with the SAR and Sherriff's office info for each section of my hike, so in the event I went AWOL they would know exactly who to call. And guess what - it all worked out fine. The thru-hike was absolutely amazing, and on my hitchhikes, I didn't encounter any creeps or weirdos. Despite how well the hike went, I wouldn't not have done anything differently in terms of my preparation.

I guess what I'm trying to say is - we must strike the balance of listening to our guts and not doing anything flagrantly stupid, but to also get out of our comfort zones and face our fears in a prepared way. Otherwise we're destined to a life of maximum comfort but limited growth, in my opinion.

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I love this! Bravo. I have not through-hiked but if I did, I would do it like you.

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Jun 5Liked by Sarah Lavender Smith

I live in Montana and while grizzly bears are a rare sighting where I live, their numbers are increasing. I do my long long runs with a group of women friends and our dogs. Bear spray is great and hopefully, one has time to deploy it. The one time I’ve encountered a grizzly on a trail, the bear, for whatever reason was running thru the woods and I had zero time to do anything other then register that something was crashing thru the forest and then it simply ran across the trail in front of us and kept running. You could tell me all the stats in the world but at the end of the day, I would still be fearful to go certain places by myself. For me, I think that’s just following good advice. I don’t know why, but encountering a cat just isn’t on my radar although it should be. I see signs frequently. Good for you though for trying to face your fear! Always good to be prepared!

Both my kids are adults in their 30’s, one is about to have their first child. I can’t read the Kristof piece but in my world, I know lots of young families and people getting married. Home ownership has definitely been a struggle for some but somehow they mostly are getting there. What I see is more of a struggle with the 18- early 20’s adults. Mental health issues and failure to launch. Lack of confidence or grit to just start their lives….

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Jun 5Liked by Sarah Lavender Smith

I’m in Montana, also. My solo trail time includes bear spray and grizzly “bells” on my dog’s collar. She doesn’t seem to mind - and it sounds like Christmas! Always best, for me, to be prepared. In my mind, it’s THEIR world and we’re running/hiking through it.

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Agreed, and thanks for reading.

I had a similar bear encounter—it approached me from behind, ran right past and in front of me, as if it didn't care I was there, it had something else on its mind.

I try to line up running dates but logistically it is difficult to find a running partner for the kinds of runs I do, and who goes my pace.

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Jun 5Liked by Sarah Lavender Smith

As a worst-case scenario thinker, I too worry about what animals we will encounter...particularly when away from home. We live in PA, and while there have been random reports of cougar sightings (it is the Nittany Lions after all!), small black bears are the norm along with a handful of poisonous snakes. I tend to the think the biggest threat I face regularly are Canada Geese, which are quite aggressive.

But we often travel out west and packing bear spray, even in checked luggage, is not allowed. Best practice is for everyone in your party to carry a can of bear spray, so at $50 a piece, my husband and I would often be buying cans of spray and needing to leave them behind. If I could find a local org that would either rent or take our bear spray after we're done with it, I'd be happy to participate! But ahead of traveling to new areas, I do try to check the Forest Service sites to see what type of wildlife is in the area and how to respond if we see it.

The closest encounter we had was on a up and down day trip on Pikes Peak. We started at 230am to give ourselves time and just as dawn was cresting, we saw two pairs of eyes starting at us from about 100 feet up on the trail. Their eyes reflected in the headlights and from what we could make out, were oval shaped and firmly placed on a mountain lion face. We walked backward, slowly, for probably a good half a mile (harder than you think) until we turned around and kept going another half mile. We contemplated turning around and calling it a day, but waited another 30 minutes and decided to creep forward. After passing the spot where we think we spied them, there was a pair of mule deer calmly eating.

Did we see two mountain lions or two mule deer? We'll never know for sure, but thinking about it still gives me the willies and makes me question ever entering the forest again! Next time we do, I'll make sure I have beer spray or at the very least, pepper spray!

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Thanks for sharing! It's hard to identify animals in the night. I've seen glowing eyes during nighttime ultras, and then I realized it was a cat, but it was small and had a bobbed tail, hence a bobcat.

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Jun 16Liked by Sarah Lavender Smith

That fear is real! Love how you’re confronting and addressing it head on. Not sure I could…have never had an encounter but hiking in Montana last summer made me nervous. Might need to learn to use the bear spray. Glad the memoir writing is going well!

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Paige, thanks for reading my newsletter; I admire yours.

Weirdly, after I wrote this, I saw a mountain lion for the first time ever (which I mentioned in last week's post) and then, two days ago while running with a friend, came upon a bear hanging out on the trail. Both wild animals turned and went the other way when they saw and heard me, so in that sense the encounters reassured me rather than stoked my fear. I hope they never turn aggressive, but I will carry bear spray just in case.

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Jun 12Liked by Sarah Lavender Smith

I enjoyed reading this Sarah as I spent a lot of time last summer running solo in the White Mountains of NH, often at night to get myself “comfortable”. My strategy was to sing out loud, assuming I’d scare any bear or moose away 😂. I felt the entire time that my fear was irrational but could never really shake it.

I like your advice on bear spray if it works on dogs. All my years running and dogs have been the only close encounter or aggressive interaction I’ve had.

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Jun 7Liked by Sarah Lavender Smith

I live in upstate NY so most of my wildlife encounters are deer, turkey etc. I guess I've never been fearful when running and I do most of my running alone. Only been spooked a couple of times, but that was by people (men). Going through Granite Chief Wilderness at WS in 2012, I heard branches breaking off to my left. Shortly after, a large cinnamon colored bear crossed my path about 30 or 40 feet ahead. That got my attention, but honestly I didn't feel fear. A few minutes later, same sound off to the right and then another bear crossed the path up ahead.

All winter, we've had a bear raiding feeders where I live. It seems it never hibernated. So we've been bringing feeders in. I kept bird seed in a sealed can on my enclosed back porch. The porch has lots of windows. A few weeks ago, he broke in. Took a screen out and climbed through the window. There was all this rumbling which I thought at first was the cats jumping off something high. I went down after one of the cats came running up the stairs with wide eyes. Turned on the lights and looked out to a table overturned and the can opened. Shut all the windows and left the mess for the morning. At that point I wasn't sure if it was a bear or racoon. The screen was out on the deck undamaged. Went back to bed. A while later, another sound. Went down and saw the bear climb out the window. This time, I locked all the windows!! He was back last week and took the screen out again but was foiled by the locked window. The bird feed is now stored in the garage. It's really weird that he hasn't broken the screen, so I keep imagining the bear with these delicate paws lol!

Anyway, he inspired this..

The Bear

I know the planet is dying because the bear won't sleep

It is too warm so he lumbers through the yards collecting bird feeders, growing bigger

He must be so confused, like me

Wondering if we've finally gone too far

He must be so tired

Unable to rest

To dream

To forget

There is no frozen ground

Or silent snow

Or deep, delicious cold

It rains and rains and people delight in wearing t-shirts

And all I can think is, be careful of what you wish for

It's really happening, isn't it?

Faster than anyone thought it would

On Christmas night, the bear comes

I see his silhouette from the bathroom window in the light of the full moon

I lift the window and call out  "bear"!

In the quiet of night, his heavy steps sound like thunder as he plunges through the fog

And I toss and turn in my den also unable to sleep

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Wow, Karen, that's amazing! Thank you.

Raccoons used to break into our old house to find and eat dog kibble and made a similar mess.

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Jun 6Liked by Sarah Lavender Smith

What a great post and great idea on the bear spray. Just a few thoughts on this one really.there was a twitter question recently on what would you rather meet alone in the woods a bear or a man amazing how many people my self included chose the bear. Not sure if results would be similar if the choice was a great cat or a bear but interesting thought. I too have a lifelong fear of an animal that I generally would have less likely hood of meeting but since I was a kid I’ve been terrified of sharks.. pretty sure it’s a past life this because it’s a visceral kind of fear like check the swimming pool twice before I jump in. That being said I have been swimming in the ocean and this November I have a trip planned to dive with whites in South Africa😬. Hopefully I’ll be able to report back on how it went. Lastly from what I see in the ER as far as alcohol related stuff I think you are very wise to get ahead of it. Anyway stay safe run Yoda

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Thank you!

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Jun 5Liked by Sarah Lavender Smith

This was a thought-provoking post, and I love the comments here too. I’ve encountered mountain lions before - luckily, from a bit of distance - but I think it’s rare that we see them even when they’re close by. (Once Chris spotted just the tail of one before it quickly disappeared up a hillside. That was near Barbara’s bench on the WS course, so we know cougars are active there!) Anyway, when I have to run alone in bear/lion country, in addition to playing music from my phone speaker I carry a small air horn. If you DO get a warning (like once when I was checking course markings at dawn and I heard a loud meow/growl), blowing the horn will hopefully scare them off. It’s loud as hell! I also carry it when backpacking. (Bear spray is illegal in the Sierra, or I’d carry that too.)

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Jun 5·edited Jun 5Author

That air horn is a great idea, I hadn't heard of that. Would you mind sharing a link to the kind and size you use?Why is bear spray illegal there?! It does not cause long-term harm to the animals; the animals recover fine.

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Jun 5Liked by Sarah Lavender Smith

I think this is it: Air Horn Can for Boating & Safety... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07PNJJ6KV?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

No idea about the bear spray rule. I’m sure it’s to do with us being in their home, yada yada. But our bears here aren’t really the worrisome kind. Though precautions are definitely required around food!

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Thank you. Good luck this month with States prep & marking!

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I believe it is only illegal in the National Parks in California.

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Jun 5Liked by Sarah Lavender Smith

This is such a great & provocative piece, Sarah. I appreciate your last link to Kristof’s column - thank you!

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Thanks for reading! Of course, when I think of the mid-'80s, I think of you!

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Jun 5Liked by Sarah Lavender Smith

I appreciate the writing on confronting fear, being prepared, and navigating the woods as a solo female!

Does Kristof address the complete lack of support for parents though? I don't have an nytimes sub so couldn't read. As someone pregnant with my first kid at 35, I've held off so long because I couldn't imagine dealing with kids and childcare while facing the pressure to build my career and do it all. We also don't own a home, no plans to buy, and are still in student loan debt despite both of us working full time. It's nice to say don't get too busy but we have trouble affording even a frugal lifestyle without adding insane childcare costs on or cutting one income entirely. I still question my sanity in procreating because it's going to mean so much sacrifice and digging into savings (also working on my feet all day through frequent vomiting is the worst). I don't feel settled, and though I love my partner very much sometimes I wish I had partnered up with someone just a little bit more wealthy so I could more comfortably have a kid. But maybe I would still be single if I had waited to be more comfortable. So, I get it, and I wish that we had more parental leave, more childcare, better healthcare, which I think would do a lot for romance.

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Someone explained to me that I can use a "gift link" to share the NYT article without a paywall, so I updated the link and hope you can access it now!

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I'm sorry the article is paywalled, I didn't realize that. No, he doesn't really address the lack of support for child raising; it's more about how and why an increasing number of young adults, especially women, are choosing to live single and detached. I feel for you!

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Yikes! But yes, reassuring. Keep running!

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